Being a “Perfect” Indian Bride

This post comes as I complete one year into my wedlock! Wohooo… 1 Year. That sounds like a milestone. It also completes exactly two years since we met. This would also be the most personal post till now

I wanted to be a bride ever since I was 10. Being one of the youngest girls in the family, I had witnessed many wedding’s right from the time I was 4 and oh yes! I had danced out my heart in each one of them. I always saw brides being pampered irrespective of the fact they were going from the family or entering a new family. I never understood why? but I was always fascinated by the idea of getting dressed up and being the center of attraction — Like a Queen of your upcoming King!

The Indian Bride

So finally after years and years of waiting, I was going to become a bride, 8 months to go, I was  planning my wedding. I was not even close to feeling like a Princess.

“I wanted everything to be perfect and finally on the day — I gave up all my perfection to be myself.”

I realized, sometimes we try so hard to bring things into real that we forget our own selves. The planning had begun, Our honeymoon was booked, the place I always wanted go. Sounds so perfect like a Fairy-tale!Right?

 I handpicked my wardrobe. I just wanted to be a simple Indian Bride in red with a nose ring. I never believed in going up to a designer and getting my wardrobe fixed for the day. I just wanted my choice and that would satisfy me, be it from any corner of the world! – and that’s the reason I went all around the country hunting for my ‘Perfect Nose Ring’ and found it in a small shop.

My wedding functions, venues and everything else that goes into a North-Indian Big fat wedding was taken care off by now. I was exhausted by the last month and just wanted to get over with it, because by now I had traveled and looked so much into each detail, that I was tired and I wanted no more of it. Just pack my bags and run. My family was taking over the responsibilities and I concentrated on being “the bride”.

Haldi (Turmeric ceremony)

So 7 days of tedious wedding adventure had begun from flying to a new place to adjusting to the hot climate. All Indian customs & rituals had commenced mahendi (Henna), haldi (turmeric), Prayers etc. The engagement was day before the wedding and I remember, how upset I was that morning about everything not being so right, basically because I knew so much about my wedding that I could pick and point what was not right (and crib about it to myself!).

Mahendi ( Henna Ceremony)

Being an Indian bride is all about being a Princess and letting others take care of everything else, because in India weddings are a huge affair which involves everyone around and away from you. It’s not about you, it’s about lots of people – advising you on various things and talking about things which might not be important to the Bride & Groom (or might just create confusion).

Well, anyways as my engagement ended I was nowhere feeling like anyone important. I just felt tired and worked up. In fact I din’t even dance 😦 .

Engagement

Finally the day had arrived, I decided to LET GO and– I DID, I got some Dholwalas (Indian drummers) and danced in the afternoon before the festivities begun. I din’t bother to go to the makeup artist I booked, loaned out the ones who had come to help others. I instructed them to do a simple everyday makeup. I forgot to wear half my accessorize. I danced in the room as I heard music play at the gardens. Nothing was perfect – It rained on my wedding (It was an outdoor wedding). But finally I was enjoying just being myself – The imperfect one 🙂 !

I mounted my doli (A kind of Chariot for the bride to enter & leave) and my brothers carried me to my wedding grounds. I was there, everyone was looking at me, flowers were falling, drummers were playing, music was loud…..I heard it right – did I? I was at my wedding. It went on till the next morning, a long long wedding! I was fatigued – But laughing and playing just like I would do any other day not bothered about anything else. It was not a perfect wedding nor did I ever feel like a Princess/Queen. but I was happy and wife to my Prince charming!

Pheras (Wedding Vows)

My Big day thought me a very simple lesson for life .

“It’s very important to be yourself to enjoy anything to the fullest, be it small or big!”

TIPS FOR BEING A HAPPY BRIDE

• Don’t fret & fume over little things not falling into place –> You will realize later it din’t even make a big difference.
• Eat well, sleep well & put on your dancing shoes.
• Relax , It’s your day — So nothing is going to go wrong unless you think its wrong.
• You know whats the best for you. So if you don’t like something, don’t go for it.
• You are not Fat!!!(I hear this most times from all the brides) You are perfectly fine the way you are –>Happy brides make the prettiest brides.

In short, I know you know all of it. Just that at that point of time we don’t remember all this and mess it up –> Just be yourself ❤ !

 

PS : I missed my perfect honeymoon too and landed in Paris due to my boy’s work commitments 🙂 !